How to Write a Family Memoir

Writing a memoir is both a personal journey and a creative challenge, demanding honesty, craftsmanship, and a willingness to revisit life’s pivotal moments. As acclaimed memoirist Mary Karr explains in The Art of Memoir (Harper, 2015), “A memoirist can’t help but be as unreliable as the weather, but you can at least ensure your honesty about how you see things.”

Crafting a memoir involves more than simply recounting events; it’s about creating meaning through narrative, voice and reflection. Here’s how to approach writing your memoir—plus recent acclaimed works for added inspiration.

1. Start with a Clear Purpose

According to William Zinsser in On Writing Well (Harper, 2006), “Decide what point you want to make. Every successful memoir has a theme—a thread the reader can follow.” A memoir is not an autobiography; it focuses on a specific theme, question, or experience, such as resilience, loss, identity, or transformation.

2. Write with Honesty and Vulnerability

Authenticity resonates. Cheryl Strayed’s Wild (2012) became a bestseller because she unflinchingly examined her grief and mistakes. Anne Lamott, in Bird by Bird, tells writers to “tell the truth as you understand it.” Readers are compelled by honesty, even in flawed memories.

3. Show, Don’t Just Tell

Nobel Laureate Toni Morrison (interviewed in The Paris Review, 1993), urges writers to trust “the language of memory.” Use vivid scenes, sensory details, and dialogue to immerse the reader. Jeannette Walls’ The Glass Castle (2005) is a masterclass in scene-driven storytelling.

4. Establish a Distinct Voice

Voice makes a memoir unique. In Becoming (2018), Michelle Obama strikes a balance between candor, wisdom, and optimism, creating a sense of intimacy with her audience. Read your memoir drafts aloud to ensure the narrative voice feels natural and genuine.

5. Balance Reflection and Action

The best memoirs seamlessly blend meaningful introspection with a gripping narrative. Tara Westover’s Educated (2018) weaves her dramatic story of self-invention with thoughtful insights about themes relating to truth and family.

6. Edit for Clarity and Purpose

Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love (2006) succeeds due to a clear writing structure and rising emotional arc. Ensure that you edit our digression themes to avoid distracting your reader from the central story.

By combining narrative honesty, a clear theme, immersive scenes, and a distinctive voice, while drawing lessons from the best recent memoirs, you can craft a memoir that resonates deeply and stands the test of time.